Overstimulated, now with a new theory!

You know, I realise that people tend to say that they're bored a lot. Maybe it's just the people who post regularly on forums andFacebook who are - being, of course, so bored that they would have the time to post on forums and Facebook, and boring everyone else in the process.

And it's just hit me that I haven't been bored for years. Maybe the last time it happened was in some Entrepreneurial Development class in university - but even that was situational boredom, caused entirely by events beyond my control and with a definite end in sight. (The end usually took place in Ice Cold Beer on campus, where I had a pool stick in one hand and a frosty mug in another. Seriously, everyone remembers themselves being cooler on campus than they actually were).

But while I might occasionally encounter situational boredom, I have never experienced existential boredom.

In any case, I tried just thinking about my month and even my year - and what I got was a mental montage of just how I have spent every waking moment being the opposite of bored.

Like yesterday, when I struggled not to lose my rag at someone who had the nerve to tell me, "Our bad and stuff".

"Our bad and stuff"!

Isn't it bad enough that it is your bad? "And stuff"! "And stuff"!

While I'd mentally dealt that person a kick to the nuts, I certainly hadn't been feeling bored.

Or the time later at night when I'd found myself in one of those very fast cars with the top down, pinned into my seat with my stomach in my mouth on the highway. (I would name the car but the point of this post isn't to incite envy but to elicit laughter). Then, I'm bored had been probably a distant 100th from the main thought I'd had which was - I'm going to wet myself.

I've been calm, sure - like when I'm baking and smoke isn't coming out of the oven for once. I've been sanguine, like when I vacation on the beach inKuantan and am, for once, the person I want to be. I've also been unconscious, after several rounds of whiskey. But I've never been bored, and that perplexes me.

I was, I'd concluded today, living an overstimulated life.

Who are these people who are perpetually and - it seems - existentially bored?

What are these people doing for a living? Data entry? Maybe the issue isn't the job, but me. Maybe if I started doing data entry tomorrow, the Y2K computer disaster would strike, 10 years late.

I'd used to want to smack people who said that they're bored. Grab life by the throat and all that shtick. But when it seems like life is the one that has you by the throat, you kinda wish you had the luxury of living a life where nothing remotely interesting ever happens.

Maybe, like the tears and bumps in the fabric of outer space, the distribution of eventfulness is unequal amongst people. Like how there's this guy - Roy Sullivan - who's been struck by lightning seven times, the poor man. Maybe he's the reason the rest of us live our entire lives with unsinged eyebrows.

That must explain how it is, that in a universe where so much happens and so much goes wrong, there are people sitting in the office, twiddling their thumbs and watching the clock.

The more important question is - where is this office, and how can I get a job in it?